Stolen Tomorrow

I give it to Nollywood! We are the only ones who would be able to tarnish a success in cutting down on the number of movies with numerous parts by making  a one part movie seem longer than ‘a cry for help’.

Stolen Tomorrow is the story of a woman from an abusive father who marries a rich old man in order to escape her previous poverty. If I were to include spoilers, I could describe the movie in one grammatically correct sentence – no run-ons. There are movies that we say don’t start until the second half, or don’t start until the first couple of minutes but this movie doesn’t start at all. The entire film feels like an exposition. I wouldn’t feel compelled to pause this if I had to leave the room, because I would miss absolutely nothing. To state it simply it was quite boring.

The story was not even pretending to be original. The highlight of this movie for most, especially the females, seems to have been getting to watch IK Ogbonna on screen. But seeing as I don’t buy into the school of thought that he is anything but a pretty face, I had to find something else to sustain me through this tedious hour and fifty minutes of film, and I found that in Omoni Oboli. Omoni did a guest appearance in this movie so she hardly had that many scenes, the joy for me was that lingering hope that maybe the next scene would have her in it.

There is a phrase I commonly use in association with John Dumelo in order to describe his absolute lack of ability to do anything other than the usual which is “John Dumelo does as John Dumelo does” and today I’ve found that that phrase is also beginning to apply to Ini Edo. In this movie, Ini Edo did as Ini Edo does. It was nothing exceptional. I would not, in my proper mind, advice anyone to invest time into this movie for her sake.

The only two actors worth watching in this movie were Kofi and Omoni. The movie in itself really isn’t worth watching. And I’m honestly beginning to suspect that iroko partners might throw down a script in a couple of days, film it as fast as possible so they can have movies to premiere on thursdays, fridays and saturdays.

It really isn’t much of a story. It bores and it lingers and it stretches and it pulls and it just attempts to see how long you’ll last in this. And I don’t see why anyone who doesn’t have to review this and is not related to anyone who made this movie, would sit through it.