Fazebook Babes

-Story: [0 out of 5] Uhm… there’s a story in there… somewhere. Between all the unnecessary bickering, the shirts in the name of dresses, the overly prolonged scenes in front of the laptop… and much more, there is a story (I think). You know what I think? I think… that I should be given an award for sitting through this movie. #ThatIsAll

-Originality: [0 out of 5] Girls fighting over a man? Girls ‘hustling’ for money? How is that original? That would be EVERY Oge Okoye movie. Or is it the marrying white men for money? Hello…. White Hunters.

-Predictability: [0 out of 5] *SPOILER ALERT* the only ONE thing in this movie that I did not see coming was Prince Eke’s character getting rich. Ofcourse we knew everything else was coming. I knew Oge would get with Mercy and Ruth’s characters. I knew that one of them must fight (that’s pretty much a given when up to 2 females live under the same roof). I knew that the Chidinma character (aka Shirley Igwe as I have been duly informed by our oh-so-awesome commenters) would eventually join in the ‘runz’. And I definitely knew that Prince Eke would choose Shirley over everyone else.

 -Directing/Editing: [0 out of 5] Hmm… if I were to address every ‘wrong’ thing with this movie, I’d re-narrate the story. What beats me sef is that after the movie, there were honestly some comments on irokotv like this “Oh! This is the best Nollywood movie ever made. Great Job!” Taaaaa… tufiakwa gi… *carries both hands over head. Points them to the floor. Snaps. And steps on it” O lekwa unu. First of all for the movie sef to start you have to wait an honorable 3 minutes for the titles to finish rolling. I honestly believe that no movie should take longer than a minute and half (max 2 mins) to start after the title has shown. If need be, list the crew at the corner of the screen as the movie rolls on. Every single scene in this movie (ok well… maybe not every single one but at least every other scene) was dragged out longer than it should have especially the party scene. How to watch this movie? With your fastforward button. In the scene where the lady decides to ‘dash’ Prince Eke a laptop (which might I add was quite awkward. How do you randomly look at someone’s face and decide ‘hmm… I think I just might dash you a laptop’), she gives it to him without a charger. #JustSaying. ….And we are supposed to believe that Oge Okoye was chatting with ‘Chris Brown’ and ‘Drake’… O please, roll me up in dough and call me cake. This movie was supposed to be amusing but I can count on one hand how many scenes, after four hours, that actually amused me (3). …and what does the title have to do with the movie? Yes! Maybe they got the men from facebook but I’m a 100% certain that they could have found a more befitting title

-Acting quality: [1 out of 5] If you say Mercy Johnson wasn’t convincing in her role… you are lying to yourself. If you say the same about Ruth Kadiri, please awake from your slumber. Even Oge Okoye was actually…. yeah! … that’s a bit doubtful. Prince Eke (dot) (dot) (dot). Even Shirley…. well Shirley wasn’t a horrible actress but she could be more convincing, so could everybody else in this movie whose names I do not know. Especially everbody with a fake accent…. PLEASE! Let’s just trash all scripts that involve any Nigerian, without an accent, speaking fun-e. And where did they carry the Matthew character from? In his red sweater vest (in lagos heat again?), trying too hard to be Chidi Mokeme… don’t even let me mention the Banky W wannabe hat… hahaha. His accent… well… I’m still trying to decide who is better. Him or Jim Iyke?And finally, Dear Oge Okoye, please stop cursing in movies. Don’t get me wrong I have no problem with people who curse, to each his own, but if you have to then let it flow. Don’t use the f word when it doesn’t enter.