Girl’s Cot (Season 2)
Mercy Johnson, Funke Akindele, Chika Ike, Chika Sugar Asoegwu, Kingsley Christopher Bassey, Tony Goodman, Collette Orji, Onyii Alex
The abandoned illegitimate daughter of a powerful top politician uncovers her father's shady dealings and uses the information to blackmail him into obeying her orders. His legitimate family are left mystified as to his odd behaviour.
"Wetin! You no dey chop pomo? You dey form big girl???? You no dey chop pomo?.... Your yansh come big like this FULL!!!! Na pomo dey work there" - Funke Akindele (aka Jenifa)
Girl's Cot season 2 part 1 and part 2, then The Return of Girls Cot Season 2 Part 1 and Part 2.
Nbong Bassey Nya
Sylvester Obadigie
Nbong Bassey Nya
2012
The title of this movie is an insult to everyone involved in the original "Girl's Cot" movie
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-Story: [0 out of 5] I am really tempted to call this movie a companion piece of some sort to the 2009 movie, “Girl’s Cot” starring Ini Edo, Rita Dominic, Genevieve Nnaji and Uche Jombo. But on second thought (and considering that I was actually entertained by the older version – something I can’t say about this one), I will just go ahead and call it a reboot (my own is why they had to call it “Girl’s Cot”. Did y’all run out of names?). So apparently now our movies are in ‘seasons’? Ha, got to love Nollywood though. We weren’t content with part 1 and 2 (… up to infinity), we weren’t content with ‘series’ (i.e Adams Apples), now we just call them seasons???? (speaking of which, I hear “Blackberry Babes” is getting a reboot… mba sorry… a second season!?! Haha this should be funny, watch this space for the review). In my sincere opinion, I don’t think this movie actually had any concrete storyline. The synopsis makes it seem like no they are about to act something reasonable. But on the contrary, it’s just a parade of lesbians. No storyline and it just drags on and on and on in ‘disgustingness’ (not a word? I know). I want to know the person that actually watched this movie and was ‘entertained’ by it. That blessed soul that endured all 4 hours of this crapology and felt inspired by it. I feel the existence of this movie (and that title, most importantly) is just an insult to Genny and all them people in the earlier version. So my sincere apologies to you all (Ini, Rita, Genny, Uche) na so them wan rubbish ya legacy
-Originality: [0 out of 5] The only original thing in this movie was the “illegitimate daughter” twist, aside from that it’s the same old same old.
-Predictability: [0 out of 5] Toss a coin. Pick a side.
-Directing/Editing: [1 out of 5] People who write these scripts are truly talented! I mean hats off to you all… you are immensely talented in the art of prolonging rubbish. Story = zilch… yet it’s in four parts? (Permit me to be ghetto but “where they do that at?”). Wetin una dey act? (what are you acting?) What? What is the purpose of having four parts (then again, what was the purpose of making the first part gan sef)? And that camera man though lol… always zooming in to azuka (that which is at the back) and Nkiru (that which is in front). Non-stop! Tell me though… all those ashawo babes… shey una go allen avenue (abi na Opebi) go har-range the babes? They look like they came straight out of night-shift
-Acting quality: [0.5 out of 5] The only thing missing in this movie is Tonto Dikeh. I was actually waiting for her to make her entrance because a script like this just feels incomplete without the poko queen. I’m assuming that either they couldn’t afford her or she was pre-occupied so they made do with “Chika Sugar Asoegwu (you might remember her as the SU from ‘Tattoo Girls‘). This is the third time I’m seeing the girl on screen and it is settled… the babe no sabi act. Fi le! She no fit do am… it’s not for you please redirect to a different career path. I mean you try! But mba. Her acting skills are on the same level as Chika Ike, I am yet to decide which of the two is more annoying. Two actual actors in this movie: Mercy Johnson and Funke Akindele. Jenifa is funny as hell!!! And Mercy is effortless but it’s about time you people stopped acting in these useless excuse of movies (especially Jenifa, I don vex for you because after seeing Jenifa I rushed and bought every single movie I could find starring you [dot…. dot… dot] two words. BIG MISTAKE! I want a refund! especially for that mess excuse of a movie “Bomb Blast”. That one, I’ve been trying to get past 20 minutes since May- which was 5 months ago)
-Setting: [3 out of 5] Ok
-Costume/Make-Up: [1 out of 5] As innnnnnn! Babes are not smiling… una no go gree until this una Brazilian hair dey touch una for knee shey? I feel so sorry for Brazilian women come Rio 2016. The amount of Nigerians way go reach there LIVE! Hian… eez all over. Brazil goes bald.
-Props and Graphics: [2 out of 5] Uhm… hey! I want an AIDS testing machine in my lounge too (if I had a lounge). I didn’t know it was so cheap that Naija senators not only all have one but carry it with them to the hotel when they want to meet ashawos (portable risk assessor… before you do the do)
-Video Quality: [4 out of 5] Good
-Audio Quality [3 out of 5] Ok
-Soundtrack: [2 out of 5] Not bad
-Musical Score: [3 out of 5] Ok
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Since starting NR, I’ve noticed a lot of things (hmm…hmm)! And of course there are many things about the industry wey dey vex me (I mean, ofcourse, afterall this is Nollywood we are talking about here). But there is NOTHING that annoys me more than that group of Nollywoodians (viewers) who watch movies that are obviously crap, (I know its crap, they know it’s crap, you know it’s crap, heck everyone with a brain in their head knows it’s crap) and then they go on twitter, facebook (or just the comment section of irokotv.com) and they praise the living daylight out of the movie. Warraheck (what the heck?)? Did we just watch the same movie… you’ll soon see them tweeting @chikaike “OMG! You are the best actress in Nollywood. I just saw you in that movie, Girl’s Cot! Girl you killed it! You are just the absolute best. You are the best actress in Nollywood”
TAA GERROUT! Uturu gbagbuo gi eba nwu (simple translation: get lost. Go jump off a bridge) Best Actress my behind! Stop lying to these actors. Stop falsely glorifying a movie. Stop overhyping B.S!!! If they suck, tell them they suck or don’t say anything at all. Na by force to talk? Why must we not only condone crap but we actually turn around to praise it? Come on people… sometimes when I see these tweets I’m really tempted to turn around and reply with a
“You sure say na the same movie you dey watch?”
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Happy Ending
COMING SOON: Locked Up
Thumbs up to u ooooo! U watched all four! And i tot i was the patient 1. I didnt go beyond the first part where Chika Ike was hitting 1 girl like that… Clapping for you
loooool, love this review, totally agree with Mercy J and Funke A being the good ones. and lol about Brazilians going bald lol
This your review just had me LOL. Seriously, I felt like giving you a pat on the back. These people need a real wake up call
First time here, now ffg
http://www.janylbenylshares.com
lol.. thanks MsJB!
The Brazillian hair tire me sef o…I just think it was same old same old but new faces..Wasnt feeling the 4 cd part, so long…Also wasnt feeling the lesbian part sha..Ha the movie was a waste of time even the end sef. Atfirst I tot Mercy J was sleek but abeg
I don’t know for these people and homosexualism in their movies. Like a new toy they all recently discovered.
hehe… let’s just go ahead and call this movie a general waste of time
I was reading Bimbo Akintolas interview on BN and i love the way she said she doesn’t accept just any script, if there is no substance in it she won’t read the script. The girl has paid her dues in Nollywood and i actually respect her for being “choosy” with scripts and finding other means to pay her bills while she waits for a good script.
Somebody shout HALLELUJAH!!! We need more actresses to reason like that abeg. Make we begin kick out uselessness from the industry
hahahahaha at the Brazilian hair lol i simply do not get the obsession and most of them are plain tacky. Why these girls love fullhead tacky weaves is beyond me i wish they could have a few tracks sewn in between hair instead to give it a more “natural” look and the funny thing is some of them have long healthy hair but still insist on rocking brazilian or is it peruvian lol Oh and the HIV testing kit is a possibility because i know they have portable ones used in Africa for door to door testing i am not sure that individuals are able to buy them over the counter (i highly doubt if they are sold commercially at all) since most are supplied by development agencies UNAIDS etc but you never know
I don’t know o… Hair go finish for Brazil come RIO 2016 (that’s all I can say)
Hmm… I did not know that about the HIV testing kit. I was really shocked when the senator guy in the movie had one… that’s neat
I like to read your reviews, makes me laugh out loud for real…good job!
Lol, thank you Dayor!!! 🙂
i thought i am the only one who noticed how people praise CRAP movies (esp on Iroko tv), they can see it is crap but just because of a thank you from the uploader, they become hypocrites. but u know what i said to myself ”it is free so why should they speak the truth, let them pay and u will know the real from the fake”
I wonder whether there is a special bank where we can go and trade these uploader ‘thank yous’ in for actual currency.
Na thank you I go chop? Mscheww… and you’d think it’s only on the free movies but no.. even on iroko+ movies, viewers are still lying
thanks you very very very much, was going to pay and watch on iroko+. i remembered to visit my usual site (nollyreinvented), and im glad i did. u saved me some pounds
*bows out* lol! It’s my sincere pleasure 🙂
i need a medal for watching all 4 parts. but then again i was on a slow night shift…….mercy and funke shouldn’t be in this, they are too big but i must say they are the only ones that got me thru all parts. mercy look gorgeous now and she dresses wayyy better,although them nails!! her diction too has finally caught up with her acting skills. she’s got skills. funke is hilarious . chika with her boutique needs to be locked up by the fashion police! or and quit acting especially acting babe part e no fit her
Nne, I’m mailing the medal to you right away lol
Haha ok good! I thought I was the only one that disliked Chika Ike’s dressing so I decided to keep that one to myself (since different fashion styles for different people)…. but now that you mention it then eheh it mean say I no dey craze afterall… the babe no sabi dress. Period!
Nollyforever how come you no longer review movies on your end naaaa,i like you and reinvented plix,you two are doing a very great job okay,leave that Sugar girl abeg,she no tey for acting at all
Abeg helep me ask her ooo! Lol thanks Anon
Girls Cot was one of the first movies I ever watched along with Fishers of Men and Mummy’s Daughter. Now THAT was a movie. this was just some booolshit. Chika no sharisma Ike, bloody Sugar but really I am sour whatever her last name is.. Just horrible. Well that is what I deduced from the 30 minutes or so I watched.
haha 30 minutes more than the average viewer! But Nne this movie is just a disgrace to the former, I can’t even say it any other way
Sugar really sucks,i remember her in Tatoo Girls,even the girls that had supporting roles were better than her,Nollywood lack profesionals now,na who do pass them want,but there are still some good,nice actresses that get their roles based on their skills,i wanted to watch this Movie because of Mercy and Funke,but that polix,i wont again,no story,NR Oshe gan
lol you are welcome jare… my fear is that if this one was this bad then what will Blackberry Babes Season 2 be like? We will sha see tomorrow
Ore Mi( thats My friend) blackberry babes season Two is now on Iroko tv,someone just informed me plix check it out,Oshe
Haba! My Yoruba no bad reach like that na. Ofcourse I know what Ore Mi means now, no dey underestimate me o lol
But yes, I noticed! I’m still on part one though. Will try and get the review done today or tomorrow
Chika acts more than Sugar,the girl no sabi act plix
lmao… ok na
I am on it right now and I am so angry. No story line. Can’t believe this
If you intend to go all the way to part 4 (pause… let me try that again)… if you are CAPABLE of finishing the entire movie then hats off to you my dear. That’s a feet