Tattoo Girls

-Originality: [0 out of 5] Like I said… it’s like a modern day “Cry for Help”. It’s been done before (numerous times)… nothing new here.

-Predictability: [2 out of 5] After the first 3 scenes of this movie, I was pretty certain it would be beyond predictable. By the end… eh… give or take, depending on who you are, you might or might not have been able to predict it (but you know I predicted it right? How do you say… Practice makes perfect? Well… almost perfect)

-Directing/Editing: [1 out of 5] This movie pissed me off on a couple of grounds off the bat. For starters… in all parts, the word tattoo was spelled as ‘tatoo’ (is this a British English thing? Or just dumb editing?). Secondly, it was a movie in four parts… like I always say… you no fit take 4 hours of my life for feem and expect to get higher than a 3 on production. There was no art in the cinematography… (whatsoever). I also believe that they were targeting the ashawo loving Nollywood audience with such a misleading title and DVD Cover. I mean, it all gives off a vibe of one of those ‘babes’ movies. (see: “Fazebook babes” “Blackberry babes” “Government Babes” “Chocolate Babes“). Needless to mention the scene where Mike knocks down ‘Jenny’ with his car. The car no even touch the babe… next thing na so the chick land for ground… see me rewinding? What? Film trick in broad day light.

-Acting quality: [2 out of 5] I might as well start off with the actual actors in this movie (whose names I manage to know). Tonto Dikeh did a pretty good job in her role. No force. No excessive fakeness. Chinwe Owoh is an actress of great repute. And there was a guest appearance by Mike Ezuruonye (I refuse to call those few scenes actually starring in the movie). Now on to the array of newbies (whose names I managed to remember note down). I’ll start with the most impressive of them all, a.k.a the character ‘Lisa’ (I thought I noted down all the names but apparently I missed hers). I feel like I’ve seen her in a movie before but because this movie is so saturated with ‘no names’ she popped out. Her acting skills, unlike most of her costars, were actually existent (as per she could actually act). She played her role nicely and definitely convincing. And now I’m forced to move on to the heroine of this movie, Chika Sugar Asoegwu, who plays the role of Jenny. While… she delivered her lines well enough she was grossly incapable of showing any emotions other than joy. When she was sad…. I laughed. When she was in pain… I laughed. And when she was happy… I laughed (it kind of made me appreciate Chika Ike actually because even though the girl expresses all emotions in the same manner, at least she expresses them… this one was sitting with Chinwe Owoh and being told a sad story and I felt like if I put it on mute, it’d seem like Chinwe was just gisting casually with her… WHERE IS NKIRU SYLVANUS WHEN YOU NEED HER?). Then the next predominant no name would be the lady that played Sophia, Uche Benjamin. Great delivery, great gestures, emotions on point… but they don’t all tie together. I don’t feel the expression or the action is wholistic. It doesn’t seem… in the moment. Seems too on the surface to be real… That flow that characterizes a natural ‘actress’ was missing. Last but not least we have David Hendriz Ogbeni, whose face for some reason irked me whenever it got on screen. Not a bad actor (i’ve seen worse)… but not that great regardless. Great selection of extras! For once, extras that don’t make me want to claw my eyeballs out. As a side note… Tonto lost sooo much weight!

-Setting: [3 out of 5] On point

-Costume/Make-Up: [3 out of 5] Nice

-Video Quality: [3 out of 5] Ok

-Soundtrack: [3 out of 5] I loved it

-Musical Score: [3 out of 5] Nicely done