Kpali

Just when you think you have seen it all, you are made to see it all over again!

Kpali is the story of a workaholic investment banker, Amaka (Ini Dima-Okojie) based in London. She has no time for anything else asides from her job. Her parents – Nkem Owoh and Gloria Young – are constantly on her case to settle down. The perfect opportunity is bestowed upon them when Amaka is sent to Nigeria for work alongside her Caucasian coworker, Jake. Unbeknownst to them, her ability to stay in London and retain her papers (or ‘kpali’) is dependent on how well she executes this job. For the parents on the other hand, this is simply an opportunity to find a husband for her and execute two weddings – Amaka’s and her sister Anuli’s (Linda Ejiofor).

If you can’t already tell, this film right here just takes all the formulas that you have ever heard of, puts it in a washing machine and spins. The final result looks like the rejected love child of “When Love Happens” and “Seven and a Half Dates” with a light sprinkle of “Isoken” on the side. The experience of watching this movie is like watching a drawn out skit that just refuses to end. The best moments, without question, are whenever Nkem Owoh is allowed to speak. Otherwise, the entire thing just runs on autopilot as you are fed scene after scene of Ini Dima-Okojie unsuccessfully trying to convince us that she can emote. It’s hard to determine which is more annoying to watch – her uni-dimensional expressions or listening to her tag on the word ‘man’ to the end of every sentence in a failed attempt at sounding effortlessly British.

A huge aggravation in this movie is watching as capable actors are side-lined and people who are struggling to convince themselves are given the headlines. Seeing Linda Ejiofor and Uzor Arukwe simply relegated to the shadows here is an atrocity, what is even more atrocious is the fact that I can count on one hand the amount of lines Arukwe was given. Really? This is the film equivalent to driving in a car with Bill Gates and begging roadside hawkers for food.

In the end, the best part of Kpali’s storyline is that our lead character doesn’t quite end up with who we think she will – thank God for a final sprinkle of unpredictability. That’s the only surprise here though. If you choose to watch it, watch it for Osuofia and his perfect comic timing.