Government Babes

-Originality: [0 out of 5] Was originally crappy? Nothing new here… like all other “babes” movies: there are two sides, both consisting of females, fighting over something that no sane person would condescend to bickering about but the writers assumes that since this is a movie, it is logically valid to not only fight over the inconsequential, but to extend it for 3 parts. I’m not complaining though, cos I thank God it wasn’t 4 parts at least.

-Predictability: [0 out of 5] I don’t think there exists a person out there in the world who bothers to try and put thought into a babes movie, so much so that they actually crack their head thinking of possible end scenarios. I mean… cos if you do… then you’ve probably put more thought into the movie than the movie makers did.

-Directing/Editing: [1 out of 5] Granted! There was some art to the camera motions in a couple of scenes but the bad in this movie definitely outweighs the good. For instance, take the 2nd embedded video as an example. These people are just “gbagauning” (a.k.a murdering the English language) left right and center, yet no one is correcting them? My second complaint is that the continuity of the movie was such that it did not permit for the tension to build within the viewers so basically all we had was scene after scene of cussing and fighting and ‘almost tension’ but not enough to even be acknowledged. And finally, at more points than I can count, I kept asking myself “Who wrote this script?” more specifically…. “Who is responsible for these crappy lines?” (rhetorical question oh! I’m pretty certain I don’t care about the person’s name, so don’t go informing me on the comments)

-Acting quality: [0 out of 5] In this movie with a cast of God knows how many misfits, there was really only one actress in the person of Amanda Ebeye (on left). She honestly was the only person on the screen actually acting (not to mention being the only person that was not continuously murdering the English language). She did an amazing job in what I have come to define as a typical “Mary Remmy” kind of role and my only fear is that she was probably so good in this role that she will start doing many many similar roles (if that happens, you won’t be hearing much about her on this blog anymore). Next to Amanda was Martha! The infamous Martha Ankomah, I mean it’s not a secret that I’m not a Martha fan, “cos I try, and I try but I can’t get no…. satisfaction” (***In tune with the Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction”). Did I mention how Martha can’t speak proper English to save her life? I mean seriously, do you notice how many times I’ve spoken of grammar so far? This is a movie in English yet none of these folks can speak English (might as well make a movie with Tonto, Artus and Martha as the only cast… call it “The REinvented English by the three murderers”). Michelle Ikegulu is too forceful. People say Uche Jombo is forceful… no? Uche Jombo is like a little baby compared to Michelle’s gra gra ways. Upon that, she still can’t act. Prince David! Please do like Emeka Enyiocha and disappear. Asibi Awemih, cute ‘almost’ accent, now please stop acting too. Thank you! Emmanuel Armah who? What happened? They couldn’t find Gavivina Tamakloe?

-Setting: [3 out of 5] Settings were adequate, not entirely convincing but adequate. I actually noticed that the living room of the “Governors Lounge” in this movie was the same as Prince David’s living room in “Please Marry Me” (that centerpiece is just hard to miss)

-Costume/Make-Up: [3 out of 5] I’d have to admit that except for Michelle Ikegulu’s jean skirt and jacket combo that looked like it fell right out of “Living in Bondage”, the costume for this Babes movie was quite impressive. Better than anything Uche Nancy would have done for a babes movie

-Video Quality: [3 out of 5] Ok

-Soundtrack: [3 out of 5] None.

-Musical Score: [1 out of 5] Wasn’t done right, was a pretty mediocre job in my opinion cos it did not evoke any emotion or tension.